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Wednesday, July 6, 2011

as a person, woman and a mother

There are times when somethings seem so hard and not so cheerful. It could be after a certain event, major or minor, or after a conversation you had or something you have heard or read.
Everyone goes through different stages and hopefully we learn from these experiences and be able to grow. At the moment I have to say I feel a bit stuck. Many things have occurred in my life and made me question who I am and what I am as a person. Also questioning certain things and feelings that I always thought were real and important.

Having a child has been such a big thing for me, as for many parents. Not just because it changes the way you live (not enough time for yourself, lots of organising or decreased amount or changing the way you socialise etc) but it really question who you are.
When I realised I was carrying a life inside me. When my daughter was born nearly 8 years ago. When I used to wake up to feed, comfort her through out the night, often all night (!), when she used to cling to me when a stranger came to talked to her. Her first day at the kinder, when she wrote me a note that said "I love you Mummy". When she wanted to go to a sleepover at her friends'. When she said she can't tell me a certain thing because it may hurt me. how she is becoming more independent every day and exploring other options that I might have not shown her.
These are only some events that have changed the way I looked at her and world around her and myself. And also forced me to think what LOVE is. A unconditional love. We are all born to love others unconditionally, I think. Thant's why babies cry and trouble the carers. They know they are to be loved no matter what they do. They love you unconditionally as well. No matter what you are, what you do to them they accept you. As we grow up some of us become scared and not sure of ourselves.
Hope I can help her to be proud of how she is and who she is. Hope I am doing the right thing. Hope I can always give her the love she deserves so much.

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